Ramblings of a Distracted Mind

Business Travel Travails

2010-03-15T15:35:00.005-06:00

Last week I was out on business travel to Long Island (where my employer is HQ'd). I was scheduled to get home Wednesday evening, but before I could do that, US Airways decided to demonstrate in no uncertain terms why I should never fly with them again. (I would normally elaborate more on each point to convey the true nature of the situation, but I have decided to keep this fairly brief. Don't want you nodding off in the middle, dear readers.)

My original plans were to fly from Islip (Long Island) to Philly at 4:09 Wednesday and then from Philly to Denver that evening, but the Islip plane was delayed about 3 hours such that the 6:20 plane to Philly arrived before the 4:09 plane. The following is how I was entertained between 3:00pm on 3/10/10 and 8:00am on 3/11/10 in Islip and Philly:

I waited for my plane at the gate in Islip until past the normal flight time at the gate hoping a gate agent would appear. None did, so I went back out through security to see the ticketing agent. I went back out because (a) there was nobody to ask at the gate and (b) there were no flight status or times posted at the gate. The ticketing agent informed me that the plane had been delayed 1 hour but that I would be fine as my Philly-to-Denver connection was also delayed.
When the second hour delay was posted (not anywhere around the gate, of course), I checked with the gate agent (as one had arrived at the end of this initial hour delay). It was the same lady that was working ticketing when I checked an hour earlier. She then informed me I would still easily make my connection because it was now also very delayed.
During the third hour delay, 6:20 plane came in, but this agent refused to book any of the 4:09 passengers on this flight. There was room, but I heard her tell someone on the phone she was just not going to do it. She said she had "had enough."
Another US Airways agent arrived once the 6:20 flight started to board to see if she could get any of us on that flight. The Philly to Denver connection was now the latest flight (direct or indirect) to get us to Denver that night, and it would be very close. The new agent booked those of us with close connections on that flight while the other lady groused and told the new agent to ignore me because I had been up to see her “82 times.” (Even though there had been 3 delays, I only approached her once at the ticket counter and once at the gate, so hearing her complain about the “82 times” I had been up there was ... entertaining -- or something.) Another passenger did not board when called (he did not hear the initial boarding announcement) and the agent loudly remarked that he should be “punished” and not let on the plane because he missed the original boarding announcement. The other agent let him board.
Eventually I got on the plane and it flew to Philly. We (I and another passenger also trying to get to Denver) were given a gate on the C concourse as our connection and told we could probably make it if we ran. Since the flight came into concourse F (which is disconnected from the "real" airport), we ran to the shuttle and took it to the stop for the C concourse. While running down the C concourse we saw a departures board that listed our Denver flight as now leaving out of A6. We could have taken the shuttle all the way to concourse A, but since we didn’t have the right gate information, we now had to run through the airport to gate A6.
(As an aside, while charging through the airport I was sure that I was racing ahead of the nice lady also trying to get to Denver that night. I wasn't. She was on my heels the whole way. I was going to be all gallant and ask that they hold the plane for her when I got there. But damn! I could not shake her. Later I find out the bitch is a marathon runner.)
After running all the way to A6, we arrived (drenched with sweat) to see the door being closed. When we got to the gate we were told the plane had already left ... even though it was sitting right there. Pointing this out I was told, “you will not be allowed to board.” This was a big problem for me because I needed to host an important meeting the next morning in Colorado Springs. It was clearly not a big problem for them.
I asked what we were to do next, and we were sent to yet another part of the airport to get rebooked.
Once we got there, there was 1 customer being served and 3 agents, but the agents were busy talking and trying to not look at the forming line of customers. After another long delay (maybe another 40 minutes), one of the other agents finally agreed to talk with us.
She told us we would have to fly out the next morning. After another 20 minutes I was (supposedly) rebooked on what the agent said was a 6:00am flight.
Since our initial Islip delay was caused by mechanical problems, she offered a voucher for a hotel room about a hour away from the airport at a Days Inn with no indication of how we were to get there and back. It was now very late and I was very tired and frustrated. If I could have figured out how to get to and from the Days Inn, I would have gotten less than 3 hours of sleep, so I chose to stay the night at the Marriott at the airport. I needed more than 3 hours of sleep; I was a wreck.
After sleeping at the Marriott (which cost me $275.33 for less than 5 hours of sleep), I arose and went back in to the airport for my 6:00am flight. But it wasn’t a 6:00am flight; it was actually a 7:50am flight (maybe I could have done the Days Inn after all). THis was frustrating, but at least I had a boarding pass for the next US Airways flight to Denver. (I was told I could not utilize a different airline to get an earlier flight.)
When boarding commenced and I tried to board with my group I was told there was a problem with my ticket. It took the gate agent a while, but eventually she told me that my ticket “had no value on it” and that I would not be able to fly on the 7:50 flight. I asked what I should do, and I was told it “wasn’t her problem” and that I needed to talk to United as my tickets were originally through them (even though it was actually a US Airways flight). Now the plane was mostly boarded and approaching its departure time. I asked for my boarding pass back (as I needed it for my company, CA, to reimburse me for the cost of the flight per corporate policy) and was told I was not getting them back.
At this point I exploded with a cry of agony (but I did not swear or issue any threats). I know I should not have done this, but I was going crazy, so I cried out, took a breath and went back at the challenge with which I was confronted. When this happened, the 2^nd gate agent told the first to “call the police” and that I would not be flying anywhere. (Now I am picturing myself on some kind of a national no-fly, no public library privileges, terrorist watch list for my troubles. Excellent!) Eventually the first agent I was working with called a manager (instead of the police). The manager was able to straighten things out after the plane had been otherwise boarded so I could actually get on the flight. In this time my originally assigned isle seat had been given to someone else, but I was just glad to get on the plane.

So, on the good side:

I did get home on Thursday.
I did not physically harm any of the various (hopefully endangered) US Airways employees that deserved it ('cuz that would just be bad karma).
I was not clubbed to death by Philly's Finest for being a terrorist and library book abuser.

All-in-all a very successful trip. Can't wait for the next one.

The Cooking Class

2010-01-28T12:28:00.008-07:00

So this week as an experiment I took a "Rustic Italian" cooking class with the wife at an excellent local restaurant.

Now, if you do not know me very well, you might not realize that I have some severe limitations when it comes to my cooking prowess. I freely tout my "3 or 3" limitation: If a recipe has more than 3 ingredients or 3 steps, it is probably beyond my not-so-considerable capabilities. I have simply never really learned to cook.

Now most of you reading this probably already know this, but I did not: A prerequisite for attending a cooking class is that you already know how to cook.

Pardon me?

When I took driving classes, they did not assume I could drive. When I took calculus, they did not assume I already knew about differentials and integrals. When I took percussion lessons, they did not assume I already knew how to play the drum. But cooking class? Why would you attend a cooking class if you did not already know how to cook?

Idiots.

So when I entered the classroom (a.k.a. the kitchen) I was in for quite a shock. When the wife and I entered, the rest of the class was already working away. (We were like 2 minutes late -- damn over-achievers.) My first warning sign was that I saw no signs of instruction occurring anywhere. But I thought, well, the wife knows how to cook, so we'll just work through this.

Not so fast.

There were no 2 person stations available, so we had to split up. Now I'm starting to worry. And in spite of my worry I made a truly inspired choice. We had to decide between a simple bean dish and some absurdly fancy Italian dessert, and the wife let me take my pick. I thought, "Why the hell would I want to learn to cook beans?" So i picked the dessert. In my defense, the "absurdly fancy" part of the dessert was not disclosed at the time of selection.

So now I was directed to a cooking station in the corner by the walk-in fridge and the world's biggest mixer. At my station I had: a 10" pan, a tub of walnuts (or some sort of non-peanut nut -- what do I know?), some sort of fancy wax paper and some instructions. I thought, I can read instructions -- no problem. I looked closer to find that they were mostly English words, but much of their meaning was lost on me.

I understood the "butter the pan" part.

Well, I thought I did.

First I had to find the butter. It was, of course, not in the conveniently located, aforementioned walk-in fridge, but eventually I found it. I took the butter (in a small metal cup) back to my station. Here I proceeded to stare at the pan and the butter, back at the pan, back at the butter and so on for a while. My mind was asking: "How do I get these 2 things together in the proper configuration?" Previous to this, I guess I had only ever "buttered" a pan with a Pam-like spray. Eventually, with some judicious use of the wax-like paper, I got the butter on the pan. Great, that only took like 15 minutes. I should be done with this dessert sometime around midnight.

Now I am not going to waste your time with a step-by-step reenactment of that fateful night (nobody has time for that), but I will relate a couple of points of my "education" related to the eggs.

First, the eggs -- I could not find them. They were not in the conveniently located, aforementioned walk-in fridge either. After some detective work, I was able to locate them. Now the instructions:

"Separate 8 eggs."

Separate them from what??

They really looked rather separate to me. It's not like it was one giant egg or anything. Not being completely ignorant, I did eventually conclude the it was a yolks vs. whites sort of segregation thing they were after. (By the way, egg "whites" do not start out white. They start out as a slimy clear substance.) This is not like separating the white clothes from the colored clothes. It's all really one slimy mess once you get past the shell. Luckily by now the wife had the beans pretty much under control, so she came to help me. We both cracked eggs. I did my best to separate the whites from the yolk, but a little yolk got in with the whites. I thought, "close enough."

Then the wife swept in with horror on her face trying everything she could think of the get the evil yolk bits out of the heavenly white bits. Good thing she was there! Thanks to her swift intervention, nobody died that night.

Second, I read about whipping the egg whites into "soft peaks." I still don't know what this means, but I tried. I put the bowl of non-white egg whites on the mixer stand (this was the small mixer) and, with some help, figured out how to turn the contraption on.

It was cool. It could go really fast! I like things that go fast!

Unfortunately, it wasn't actually mixing the eggs. I was just spinning merrily above the bowl. This is when I started looking for a longer mixing attachment thingy with which to reach the eggs. At this point I received one of my few bits of instruction. The chef running the class was wandering by and nicely asked what the fuck I was doing.

(He didn't actually use the "f" word, but his eyes were a little wide, so I could tell he was thinking it.)

Then I learned that the solution was to use the arm on the side of the mixer to raise the bowl into position. So I mixed away. Somehow I knew this contraption was supposed to transform my slimy clear egg stuff into fluffy white something or other. When it got there, I asked the assistant chef/instructor lady if it was okay. "Not yet," says she, "you want soft peaks." I nodded like I had a clue about what she was saying and mentally translated it into "mix more." (The "not yet" was my primary clue.)

So I did.

Then, like 2 nanoseconds later, the wife comes by and takes a look. "Oh, no," says she, "looks like you have hard peaks. You mixed it too long. We might have to start over." "Oh no," thought I, "I have to work tomorrow morning."

Having no interest in starting over, I mixed in the sugar and crossed my fingers.

In the end, the dessert came out great, mostly thanks to the timely interventions of the wife. The chef/instructor dude said it was perfect, so I didn't mention the hard peaks.

Tonight, as another experiment, I am taking an improvisation class. If they point me to a station in the corner and tell me to start improvising, I think I will scream.

Catch-up Blog: Recent Reading

2010-01-11T13:49:00.026-07:00

Well, hi there!

I have been absent from these pages for a rather long time, and I wanted to bring both of my dedicated readers up-to-date on what I have been reading since last August. Rather than doing a separate post for each book, I am simply providing the table below which lists the book, my rating of the book and the beginning of my goodreads.com review of the book.

To see the rest of any of the review text, just click on the Title link of the book and you will be taken to the goodreads page for this book and my review.

(The formatting is a bit of a mess for this blog. I will fix that as I have time.)

Title	Rating	Review
The Miracle at Speedy Motors (No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, #9)	2/5	I picked up this book because I had heard good things about the series and because this particular book had "Speedy Motors" in the title. :)…more [close] I picked up this book because I had heard good things about the series and because this particular book had "Speedy Motors" to the list. :) It was nothing special to me. I thought it was a reasonably enjoyable easy read, but I cannot say that I would really recommend it to anyone. There are much better books out there. (My tepid evaluation is not shared by the many other fans of this series, so perhaps the book will work better for you.) [close]
Blood Diamonds	3/5	A very good exploration of the tragic circumstances surrounding the diamond industry in general and Sierra Leone in particular. The book also does a …more [close] A very good exploration of the tragic circumstances surrounding the diamond industry in general and Sierra Leone in particular. The book also does a good job of explaining the hold De Beers has over the diamond industry, inventory and, ultimately, value. [close]
Brisingr (Inheritance, #3)	3/5	A decent third book in the series. If you liked the earlier ones, you will like this one. If you did not like the earlier ones, this one will not wi…more [close] A decent third book in the series. If you liked the earlier ones, you will like this one. If you did not like the earlier ones, this one will not win you over to being an Inheritance Series fan. I was most disappointed that this was not the end of the story. The author just could not bring himself to close things out in this book, so there will be another. I seriously think with a bit more discipline, the series would have been easily covered in 3 books. [close]
A Lady's Life in the Rocky Mountains (The Western Frontier Library, 14)	2/5	The book is a fascinating account of Bird's travels mostly through Colorado. She was a tough old bird (pun intended), and she attempted something tha…more [close] The book is a fascinating account of Bird's travels mostly through Colorado. She was a tough old bird (pun intended), and she attempted something that most others would not have. I do respect her for that. I found reading about her trials pretty interesting. That said, I think she was an average writer at best. Perhaps I have been spoiled by the likes of Jon Krakauer. Independent of the quality of her writing, Bird strikes me as very self-centered and judgmental. This is significant to me as it was likely to affect the objectivity of her writing. That and it annoyed me at times. She also compromised her credibility by claiming Colorado to be a state before it actually was. I am not sure if this was just a mistake while she was writing or if (as the editor suggests) she went back and modified this part of her letters at a later date. (If the latter, what else might she have modified?) The Longs Peak climb was of interest to me, as I have made that trek myself. I took the traditional route that the 2 younger men with her took. I did not even know the route that she and Jim took was possible, but her account of the the ledge the 2 younger men took was not exaggerated. It is very narrow with a drop-off that seems to go forever. (This makes 2-way traffic on that ledge ... interesting.) In any case, she was not in the proper shape for this climb, and she was lucky to make it back alive. [close]
The Girl Who Played with Fire (Millennium, #2)	3/5	I have very much enjoyed reading Stieg Larsson's first 2 books of this (Millennium) series. I would probably give this book a 3.5 if I could. Larsso…more [close] I have very much enjoyed reading Stieg Larsson's first 2 books of this (Millennium) series. I would probably give this book a 3.5 if I could. Larsson does a good job maintaining the suspense throughout the story. There are surprises and twists, and I like the 2 main characters. [close]
Pride and Prejudice	2/5	I know this is supposed to be a great book, and I know that most of you enjoyed it far more than me. It just didn't work for me. Yes, I saw the hum…more [close] I know this is supposed to be a great book, and I know that most of you enjoyed it far more than me. It just didn't work for me. Yes, I saw the humor and satire. I even enjoyed it. But not enough. I found the language tiring, the story predictable and many of the characters annoying. (Although that last bit, I expect, is intended to add to the humor.) I am just not with the majority on this one. [close]
Outlander (Outlander, #1)	2/5	Most guys should not read this book. It's not that it is particularly poorly written -- it's not, but it does seem primarily designed to make women…more [close] Most guys should not read this book. It's not that it is particularly poorly written -- it's not, but it does seem primarily designed to make women horny (which I am not saying is bad) whilst giving them an actual story to follow. This is a book that works very hard to make it okay for its married, modern day protagonist to have sex with a young, studly Scots warrior from the past. It's not her fault. She had no choice, you see. Hell, it's so okay that even the church reassures her that she has committed no sin for: - marrying and having sex with her young stud from the past - not returning to her own time and husband when she had the chance - killing a dude Sin-free, guilt-free sex with a tough, young, studly dude from the past wearing a kilt. What's not for a lady to love ... or lust anyway. Beats me, I am no lady. [close]
The Magicians' Guild (Black Magician Trilogy, #1)	3/5	This is a pretty good "young adult" or younger book. I did not connect with it all that well, but I would give it a strong recommendation f…more [close] This is a pretty good "young adult" or younger book. I did not connect with it all that well, but I would give it a strong recommendation for kids under 15 that love to read. [close]
The Black Hole War: My Battle with Stephen Hawking to Make the World Safe for Quantum Mechanics	4/5	And another book I would like to rate 3.5. Actually is was a 4.0 until the last quarter of the book, so I am biasing up my rating here. It's a 4.5 o…more [close] And another book I would like to rate 3.5. Actually is was a 4.0 until the last quarter of the book, so I am biasing up my rating here. It's a 4.5 on explaining complex but interesting technical concepts for most of the book, but falls to 2.5 or 3.0 near the end. Or perhaps I am not bright enough for the book. Also, good lord is Susskind arrogant -- bright, but arrogant! [close]
Ringworld (Ringworld series, Book 1)	3/5	I sounds like a broken record, but I'd give this SciFi classic a 3.5 as well. Pretty good, pretty well-told story. I am not yet sure if I will read …more [close] I sounds like a broken record, but I'd give this SciFi classic a 3.5 as well. Pretty good, pretty well-told story. I am not yet sure if I will read any others in this series. [close]
Rocket Men: The Epic Story of the First Men on the Moon	3/5	I'd give it a 3.5 if I could. This book is a very interesting and insightful view into the internal workings NASA throughout most of the 60's. [close] I'd give it a 3.5 if I could. This book is a very interesting and insightful view into the internal workings NASA throughout most of the 60's.
The Magicians	3/5	This book was about a 3.5 for me. It is an interesting mix of Narnia and Potter with more adult themes. I really did enjoy it, but it bugged me th…more [close] This book was about a 3.5 for me. It is an interesting mix of Narnia and Potter with more adult themes. I really did enjoy it, but it bugged me that the protagonist (IMHO) never really figured out what he wanted out of life. On the other hand, the hedonistic tendencies of these more mature magicians do strike me as more realistic that the characters in similar books targeted at a younger audience. [close]
Angels & Demons (Robert Langdon, #1)	2/5	Good premise for a story, but not all that well executed. …more [close] Good premise for a story, but not all that well executed.
The Glass Castle	4/5	Jeannette Walls does a wonderful job of telling the difficult story of her childhood. The reader gets a real sense of what things were like for her a…more [close] Jeannette Walls does a wonderful job of telling the difficult story of her childhood. The reader gets a real sense of what things were like for her at the time of the actual experiences. There was both pain and humor. There was the tragedy of her childhood and the parenting to which she was subjected and joy of Jeannette coming through all of it as well as she did. Of the many "troubled childhood" books I have read of late, this is probably the best. [close]
The Secret Life of Bees	2/5	This book is about a 2.5 to me. Parts of the book are a 3.5-4.0. In particular, the depiction of the black vs. white conflicts and struggles of th…more [close] This book is about a 2.5 to me. Parts of the book are a 3.5-4.0. In particular, the depiction of the black vs. white conflicts and struggles of the time is a difficult subject that is well presented. I also appreciated the narration by 14 year-old Lily -- both the way the story was told and the language used. But the story itself was a 2.0 in many ways. Parts were believable and parts were not. I expect many will enjoy this book, but too much of the bees' honey escaped into the story for my tastes. [close]
Brothers: A Novel	3/5	This novel is great in the way it conveys the cultural revolution of China, but it is hobbled by the absurdity of its many coincidences. This story o…more [close] This novel is great in the way it conveys the cultural revolution of China, but it is hobbled by the absurdity of its many coincidences. This story of 2 extraordinary half-brothers is engaging, and I enjoyed moving through it and the recent history of China at the time. The book is primarily told in first person narrative form alternating between the two brothers. Their lives rise and fall (for the most part) inversely to one another. That would be coincidence enough, but that they both separately fall in love with the same woman at different times is a bit too much for me. The book is worth the reader's investment because of the insight it provides non-Chinese readers on a very tumultuous time in China's history. And the story is also very well told -- if you can suspend disbelief. [close]
Physics of the Impossible: A Scientific Exploration of the World of Phasers, Force Fields, Teleportation, and Time Travel	3/5	I think this is a 3.5 star book, but I am grading on the low side today. :) This is a fascinating book about many of the "impossible" th…more [close] I think this is a 3.5 star book, but I am grading on the low side today. :) This is a fascinating book about many of the "impossible" things portrayed in various sci-fi books and movies. The author does a very good job of making the outer edge of physics as we know it accessible to the average reader to the extent that it might be needed to achieve these supposedly impossible things. I was interested to learn how many "impossible" things are difficult but not inconsistent with the laws of physics. In the whole book there are only 2 things Kaku notes as being outside our current understanding of the laws of physics: perpetual motion machines and precognition. If you like Hawking's lighter works, you will like this book as well. [close]

The Lovely Bones

2009-08-15T14:31:00.001-06:00

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I can't decide between a 3.5 or 4.0 for this book, but I am leaning towards 4.0.

The protagonist and narrator, young Susie, is raped and murdered very early in the story. But fear not, since Susie is doing her narration from beyond the grave, this isn't even a minor bump in the road. This is good because otherwise the story would be too short, and you'd miss all the good stuff.

Having the deceased Susie narrate is a bit risky, but Sebold does a pretty believable job of it. There are some rather odd bits in the book, but she generally pulls them off well. (I will not mention them here so as to not give anything away.)

So, rape and murder of a young girl and the pain and difficulties that follow must make this a very depressing book. Not so much, it turns out. While there is nothing gleeful about the terrible things that happen, it still manages to be a rather hopeful and occasionally humorous book. The author has an interesting take on the "what happens after death" thing which I appreciated.

View all my reviews >>

Physics of the Impossible

2009-08-15T13:58:00.001-06:00

Physics of the Impossible: A Scientific Exploration of the World of Phasers, Force Fields, Teleportation, and Time Travel by Michio Kaku

My rating: 3 of 5 stars
I think this is a 3.5 star book, but I am grading on the low side today. :)

This is a fascinating book about many of the "impossible" things portrayed in various sci-fi books and movies. The author does a very good job of making the outer edge of physics as we know it accessible to the average reader to the extent that it might be needed to achieve these supposedly impossible things.

I was interested to learn how many "impossible" things are difficult but not inconsistent with the laws of physics. In the whole book there are only 2 things Kaku notes as being outside our current understanding of the laws of physics: perpetual motion machines and precognition.

If you like Hawking's lighter works, you will like this book as well.

View all my reviews >>

"That which you manifest is before you."

2009-07-23T18:06:00.001-06:00

The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

"That which you manifest is before you."

"The car goes where the eyes go."

This is a book about the trials of life. This is a book about the possibilities of life. This book is sad. This book is hopeful.

This is not a book about racing. But the book does talk about racing and its lessons for life. The protagonist (Denny) is a racer, a husband and a father. Pretty much every bit about road racing in this book is accurate, and that is very impressive. Garth Stein may not be a racer, but he must be an avid sports car and F1 fan.

Oh, and the story is wonderfully told from the prospective of Denny's dog, Enzo. Enzo believes that when a dog's life ends, if he is ready, he will come back as a man. Enzo is more ready than many people I have met.

If you read this book you will root for Denny and fall in love with Enzo. It is a fairly simple, very easy read, and I enjoyed it very much.

View all my reviews >>

My 2 most embarrassing moments...

2009-05-28T21:26:00.003-06:00

A while back I was ask to blog about my two most embarrassing moments on some FaceSpace site. Since they are *still* my top two, I will reproduce them here for your enjoyment and my embarrassment:

Embarrassing Moment 1:

At one point while I lived in the (south) San Francisco Bay Area (right out of undergrad school), my parents came to visit. Among other things, they wanted to see the ocean. Okay, fine. We headed down towards Santa Cruz via highway 17, a beautiful, twisting highway through the mountains prone to traffic jams. Now, somehow we ended-up going on a weekend. In the Summer. Stupid! So, obviously, we got stuck in a traffic jam with a bunch of teens & 20-somethings headed to the beach. And my parents.

There were a couple of convertibles in the (not really moving) lane next to us. In the car next to us were 4 or 5 girls ... uh ... cheering. In the convertible in front, there was this guy. Alone. And then this head emerged from his lap, and the other girls cheered louder. So we (my parents and I) pretended not to notice. But we couldn't go anywhere, so we had to pretend real hard.

I thought: we can get through this. It's not that bad.

Well the amorous couple had other ideas. They made a few tactical adjustments, and then the pretty lady decided to hop on her friend's lap. She had to work at it a bit, to get things arranged just right so she could attach herself to his not-so-passive restraint system. And of course, there was the cheering section going wild. And my parents. And no where to go.

So while the nice couple fucked away in the car just 4 feet away from the windshield of my car, and their fan base went wild (their car was rocking all over now), and I was getting more than a little aroused, we all pretended like nothing was going on. I am pretty sure Dad was thinking he wouldn't mind being in the other car (brings a new perspective to that Dr. Seuss classic: "Hop on Pop"). I am pretty sure Mom was horrified. I was torn between wanting to jump in the car with the other 4 or 5 girls and wanting to disappear. But I really couldn't do either.

That was a l-o-n-g trip to the beach!

Embarrassing Moment 2:

This was much more recent, and it is much more embarrassing for me.

After being up very late the night before, I stopped for coffee on the way to work in my big extended cab, long-bed, 4x4 Dodge Ram 2500. Went in, got my coffee, went out, got in the truck and placed my coffee the conveniently located beverage holder. So far so good.

[Here we take a moment to remember that I race cars on a regular basis for fun. I have great situational awareness and vehicle operation skills. I am not the best driver in the world, but I am a lot better than most, and I take pride in it.]

So, I buckle-up and put the truck in reverse. I back out smartly, swinging the truck around to leave the parking lot.

Wham! WTF?!? The coffee left its convenient beverage holder (and its cup, for that matter) and flew across the truck. An entire light pole, complete with 4-foot high, 3-foot diameter concrete base, grew up from the ground behind me and attacked the back of my truck. It hit so hard, it must have been running straight at me. There is no way I could have been moving fast enough to hit that hard if it was stationary. I was pissed. I don't know how it happened, and I just don't make mistakes like that.

I took a deep breath and decided I should pull away from the pole and roll away from the coffee shop so I didn't have to face any of those people that just saw me try to destroy my truck and the 3-foot diameter concrete base of the light post all in one slick maneuver.

I thought: I can get through this. It's not that bad.

I put my foot on the brake and shifted the truck into drive. I then turned back to see if I could pull straight out.

(Warning: bored readers should now skip ahead to the next paragraph. Or just stop reading and do something useful.)

[Now we pause to talk about the heel-and-toe technique required for down-shifting when coming off of a fast straight into a slowish corner (for those of you that do not know about it). In this situation you need to depress the clutch with one foot, while braking hard with the other foot and engaging the lower gear. Sounds easy enough. But before you can let off of the clutch, you must blip the throttle so that the engine is turning fast enough to match the speed of the transmission. If you do not do this the rear tires will lock-up under what is called compression braking, and you will most certainly not make the corner. The problem is that you are still braking very hard, and most of us do not have 3 feet. To solve the problem, I rock my foot between the brake and the throttle using the outside edge of my foot to blip the throttle. Clutch out, turn in for the corner, done.]

I told you that to tell you this: I do not generally brake in the center of the brake pedal; I brake to the outside of the pedal. In the race car I often only brake with the ball of my foot. So, when I turned to the right to check behind me, my foot slipped from the brake onto the accelerator. I really don't know how this happened. Nothing like it has ever happened before, and I hope it never happens again. While I was looking back, the truck launched forward. Fast. Faster than I thought possible. I turned around and saw, in what seemed like slow motion, my truck ram (no pun intended) into the back of a brand new Ford F250 pickup in. It was about 2 weeks old. Before everything stopped moving, that truck was knocked 50% out of the parking lot. Ugh!!!

The owner was not in the truck, but he was walking back to it with his coffee. I can't imagine what went through his head as I smashed into his nice new truck. I hopped out, my head spinning. He shouted: "What the fuck!?!" I think all I replied was, "I don't know. I'm sorry."

25 (not so) Random Things

2009-01-31T12:55:00.026-07:00

(I have been repeatedly tagged for this "25 Random Things" note/blog/whatever over on Facebook, so I thought I would cross-post the result here.)

First let me say that 25 is a pretty big number of things, so this will *not* be 25 things you never knew about me. Some of the items are directly stolen from my earlier writings. You'll get over it. Second, there is nothing at all "random" about the selection of these things; if they were random the list would likely be filled with really insignificant and uninteresting stuff. No, I mean even more than it already is.

I grew-up in inner-city Detroit. My parents bought the house I grew-up around 1960 for $16,500. Due to the fine state into which our neighborhood devolved, the house sold for a whopping $6000 in 1983. The neighborhood has continued downhill from there. When I think of this, I think of the Steve Martin line from The Jerk: "I was born a poor black child." People just look at me strangely when I quote it now.
I was a strange kid. I used to thing about things like:
- What was beyond the edge of the universe: If the universe was infinite, and God created the universe, I concluded it must still be rolling out from the point of creation.
- When I found out Santa Claus was not real, I started to question the existence of God. I worked on this for years and then finally concluded I was not smart enough to figure this out. I remain agnostic to this day.
- Whether absolute zero was the opposite of infinite mass (like if you move mass at the speed of light): Think about it; it actually make a bit of strange sense.
Mom was an alcoholic for all the time I can remember when I was growing up in Detroit. Even hospitalization for cirrhosis of the liver did not stop her from drinking. For some reason, after I no longer lived at home, she dried out and stayed that way for the rest of her life. I am proud that she was able to get passed it.
I went to my first car race when I was about 3. My father, uncles and some others built a Late Model that we raced every Saturday at Flat Rock, MI (a 1/4 mile paved oval) and Sunday at Toledo, OH (a ~1/2 mile paved oval). A few of the guys we raced against went on to have pretty decent NASCAR and other professional careers: Mark Martin, Alan Kulwicki, Dick Trickle (don't ask me why he didn't decide to go with "Rich" or "Richard" or why his parents ever went there in the first place), and some others.
I was a percussionist in high school. Okay, not a particularly good one, but it was fun. And I met some cute girls in the band.
I went to a mostly black high school where attendance was about the only thing required for a B grade. While there I dated mostly black girls because most of the girls were black. My parents were less than appreciative of my choices for female accompaniment.
I dated an 18 year-old girl when I was 15. In the end I broke it off because she was too immature for me. No, really! (This, by the way, is the same girl mentioned in #12 below.)
There about 1000 students in each class at that high school. In mine only 288 graduated. Of those very few went to college. I went to a small liberal arts college in Michigan (Albion) because I wasn't sure I had the background/prerequisites to survive in in a large school like the University of Michigan.
As an undergrad I majored in Computational Math and Psychology because I was interested in understanding how people think, being able to model it and then to program it into a computer (i.e., AI). From these efforts I have reached two unfortunate conclusions (a) that we have no fucking idea how people think, and (b) a surprising number of people don't seem to think much at all.
You know that obsessive/compulsive detective, "Monk?" I have some of that in me. Sometimes things have to be just so. Here are some examples:
10.a. We have a black cat and a formerly white cat. (The formerly white cat is now still pretty light, but she only has patches of white.) I give them their breakfast in some old bowls that come in black and white. I always give the white bowl to the black cat and the black bowl to the light colored cat. It doesn't look right otherwise.

10.b. I usually cannot walk past a crooked picture without straightening it.

10.c. I line up all the shampoo and conditioner bottles in the shower. I don't think about it, I just do it.

10.d. When I get locked on a problem, I just can't let it go until I have it sorted out. (Or perhaps this is an aspect of #11.)
And on top of that I am also somewhat anal-retentive. How can you identify the anal? Ask them, "Does anal-retentive have a dash?" They should respond, "No, it has a hyphen."
I have a really bad memory. I once dated a girl for 3 months without knowing her name. When I first forgot it, I could not bring myself to ask. And then after a month, well, you simply cannot ask without risking bodily injury. Luckily she was an only child. When I called her house (she lived with her parents), if her mother answered the phone I would ask, "Can I speak to your daughter, please?" Nope, neither her nor her mother never caught on. Eventually I found it written somewhere. (Epilogue: I currently have no idea what her name was.)
I had a therapist once ask me if I always thought I was right. I responded: "Well, of course! If I thought I was wrong, I would change what I thought." Duh! (She just laughed.)
Racing is the only thing I have consistently wanted to do since I was 6. (I did not discover girls until I was 8.)
I read very slowly because I subvocalize. I read technical manuals and novels at about the same speed. I did not develop an appreciation for reading until the 11th grade and Mr. Moldovan. I used one 78-page book for most of my book reports in 6th, 7th and 8th grade.
I test poorly. Always have; probably always will. If you tell me "there will be a test," my body instantly goes in to its "fight or flight" mode. If you do this as a joke, be careful because I might hit you.
My first real job (as in post undergrad) was with Lockheed in Sunnyvale, CA. I went to work for them because it got me the hell out of Detroit and because they agreed to pay for my MSCS at Stanford. The catch was that I had to work full-time while doing my graduate work, so I only averaged about 3 hours of sleep a night. There is no way I could do that now.
I am very auditory. Various, often small, noises drive me crazy: any sound in the house or car that doesn't belong there, people that chew with their mouths open or smack their gum, people that idly click their pall point pens or wrap them on the table, etc. Yes, I would kill many people if not for my exceptional power self-control. :)
My wife and I have mostly rebuilt a cabin at 11,600 in Summit County. We did most of this ourselves. I love how it turned out. I do not recommend doing this with a loved one.
When my feline buddy of 19 years, Terra, passed away a few years ago, we decided to provide a foster home for kittens without mommy cats and too young to be adopted out by the humane society. (You can see some pictures in my profile.) It was fun. We laughed, we cried, we bled. (Those little critters had sharp claws which proved useful for climbing flesh as well as fabric.)
As a result of fostering 10 kittens, we now have 2 that have taken up permanent residence: Storm and Pantera. (You can see pictures of them in my profile as well.)
Storm's name was chosen because she is a force of nature and because she reminded me of the X-Men character of the same name.
Pantera's name was chosen as it is the Italian feminine noun for Panther -- she reminded me of a black panther. And a little for the car. But not at all for the band.
I have had headaches since I was in my early 20's. I have tried medicines, biofeedback, exercise, yoga, accupuncture, chriopractic, guided relaxation, diet changes and I don't know what all. Headaches suck.
I have had at least some gray hair since I was 18. I am (so far at least) unwilling to dye it. I hate hair color for men commercials.

50 yards and a cloud of dust

2008-06-21T21:36:00.015-06:00

(I have been meaning to write this blog for 3 weeks, but time has not allowed me the luxury.)

My last race was 6/14/08 & 6/15/08 in Pueblo, CO. It was the Trans-Am Invitational with the local vintage racing group (RMVR). There were 190 cars participating, which is most I have ever seen at any one event. It was very hot -- 96F Saturday and 106F Sunday according to a nearby thermometer in the shade. In this kind of heat the track is slick, so no personal best times were going to be achieved. Unfortunately, the Friday before the race fellow race driver Ellis Cahn died of a massive heart attack at the track. It was reported that he had chest pains the night before but chose not to see a doctor. We were not close friends, but he will be missed.

I was running with the Trans-Am group as the 2.0L 911s did in the mid/late-60's. What this meant was that I ran with a group that consisted mostly of muscle cars from the late 60's and early 70's. You know, 4000L Mustangs and the like. So my little 911 and I got to play giant killers -- a little bit anyway. In the end I finished 2nd in class and 10th overall, beating a handful of the Mustangs and getting beat by another handful, with various other cars sprinkled in. Not a fantastic result, but not bad.

Here is a gratuitous random pic with me leading a Mustang (and others):

Here is a track map of Pueblo:
Okay, so that was how things ended up. How I got there was a little exciting. After a good (for me) qualifying effort, I started the first race in 9th of the 31 car field. On the start all of the muscle cars just drove away from me on the long front straight, and I ran them back down in the curvy bits. Passing is difficult in the parts of the track where I am the fastest, and passing is easy where I am at a disadvantage (on the straights). Still I drove hard and was trying to catch a 'Cuda for 6th late in the race. He was so fast on the straights that I had to drive 10/10ths to catch back up in the curves. Trying to get a jump on him exiting turn 4, I drove 10.5/10ths and spun around to the inside of the track. I locked down the brakes at the part of the spin where I thought my vector would take me out of the way of the on-coming 24 cars. It did.

And that was the last bit that went right in this part of our story. I spun from the inside of the track onto the dirt. I slid a good 50 yards after dropping off of the pavement. Straight towards a tire barrier constructed to protect the corner workers at the exit of that corner. I thought I would stop just in time. I didn't quite. As I slid towards the corner worker station, the corner workers understandably sprung to life and away from my sliding car. I am sure that was a bit of a cardio workout for which they were not planning (sorry guys). The impact was light, but it bent the LF fender a bit -- nothing serious. And then it was calm.

But not for long. I knew it was coming, and all I could do was wait. See, when you slide sideways at high speed over the dry dirt, you pull a lot of it up and in your direction. This seems obvious, but it is impressive to behold. The dirt cannot move as fast as the car, but it can move as far. So I sat there thinking, "oh fuck," as I awaited the massive wall of airborne dirt headed my direction. It was impressive. It dumped a few gallons of dirt into every little spot of the car that was not fully sealed. Like the driver's compartment. There was dirt in and on everything. I could not see a thing for a couple of minutes (although it seemed like forever). I expect I will be cleaning dirt out of places for quite a while.

When everything settled down, I got back on track and ended-up finishing 22nd. Two races remained, and I worked myself back through the field finished as noted above.

(Now updated with a more accurate track map.)

A Smart Interview

2008-04-03T07:58:00.008-06:00

So, smarty posted an interview blog recently. In response I asked to be interviewed. (Yes, even though I have promised about 4 other blogs I have not yet gotten to.) Here are her questions and my attempts at some answers:

1. If you had an opportunity to start a new career and money wasn’t at all a consideration (either in terms of the money needed to train for it, or the amount of income that you need), what would it be?

A racer, of course! Unfortunately, that would result in a huge outflow of money, but if money were no object....

Oh, you want a more practical answer? I might like to do one of the following:

Work on a car show (a la "Top Gear") -- okay, still not too practical
Write for a car magazine
Run a pet hotel of sorts
Assist people that need help managing their money/budgets

2. If you could take a dream getaway, where would you choose to spend a couple weeks?

That's tough. Either:

Italy, starting with Tuscany, and focused on wine, women and food
Touring and racing at race tracks around the country, hitting at least Road America and Road Atlanta.

3. Do you eat to live, or live to eat?

Depends. If I am in Italy, I will live to eat. If I am in La Junta, CO, I will eat to live. :) I really do appreciate good food and good wine, so I generally live to eat (and drink and flirt).

4. List your five favorite books/movies/CD’s (it can be any mix of those three categories)

I am not so good with the favorites thing. I rarely watch movies or read books more than once because I don't have much time, and there is so much out there. Five is a very short list, so tell you what, let me just do books, but I will put them in categories. (Oh, and you may or may not recall that I didn't really start reading books until the 11th grade, so I still read VERY slowly and I don't have the same literary coverage as most others do.)

Best Intellectual Book: Godel, Escher, Bach: The Eternal Golden Braid (Douglas R. Hofstadter)

This book is the most intense form of mental masturbation I have ever experienced. And I mean that in a good way. It is not, however, an easy read. Oh, and Hofstadter is a bit of an arrogant jerk.

Best Comic Collection: Some Calvin and Hobbes collection (Bill Watterson)

I don't know which is best (probably one of the early ones), but Watterson is a genius.

Best Recent Novel: The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)

Probably everyone has read this recently. If you have not, you really should.

Best Satiric/Humorous Novel: Something from Kurt Vonnegut or Mark Twain

Okay, I am cheating here. If I have to pick just one book from these 2 masters, it would probably be Cat's Cradle (Kurt Vonnegut)

Best Book of Philosophical Inquiry: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values (Robert M. Pirsig)

We started with a mental masturbation book, so let's end with one, too. Of course, it's an entirely different form of masturbation.

5. Tell me about #129. What kind of car is it?

My race car is a 2.0L 1967 Porsche 911. It weighs about 2100 pounds (wet). The engine case, displacement, suspension and gearbox are basically stock 1967 parts. The heads are ported, the cam is aggressive, the compression ratio has been raised to 12:1 and the I run it up to 8000 RPM. The result is a 1967 engine significantly hotter and quicker than stock, but it is still just a little 2.0L power plant. It has to do battle with Mustangs, Camaros and the like with tires that are twice as wide and displacement that is 2-3 times the 2.0L limit I have. It's really a pretty nice little car and stands up reasonably to much of the competition.

My worst race weekend ever...

2007-12-16T15:26:00.000-07:00

It was the first weekend in June, and we were racing at the Pueblo Motorsports Park. The car had performed well 2 weeks earlier, so I was optimistic. Fate and the car had other plans

On Saturday I spent most of the day dealing with 4 or 5 car problems (electrical and fuel pump related; you don't care about the details 'cuz you all have lives to live and stuff). I worked for 8-9 hours to get things fixed, and I was totally beat. I finally got to run in the last race of the day. Since I did not run the earlier events, I had to start at the rear. The good news is that I started 20th and finished 7th. I was driving hard and enjoyed myself.

I lost a lot of track time on Saturday, but the car and the driver were both running well. Maybe this will be a good weekend after all!

Sunday started out well. I set a personal best time in the first race of the day and kept up with cars normally a fair bit faster than me. The car ran quite well, and I received a lot of complements on my driving.

Excellent!!

Then in the last race things got bad. They dropped the green after a pace lap, and I had a great start; I ran from 7th (my finishing position in the last race) up to 3rd by the 2nd corner. After only 1 lap, however, they red/black flagged the race due to rain and lightning. After about 20 minutes they restarted the race. It was still raining a bit, but the first lap after the restart was good -- mostly. The rain was picking up again, but I was driving in it well -- under control and reasonably fast. The car had just about exactly the grip I expected under those conditions. Coming through turn 10 (the last turn on the track) on that lap, everything felt reasonable -- at first.

A digression about the front straight at Pueblo. That straight is actually a drag strip. The dragsters put down a lot of rubber (especially in the burnout areas) that doesn't mix well with our rubber. Different types of rubber compounds (between the stuff on the track and the round things on the car's wheels) can interact in very strange ways. It can more grip, but it usually results in less. Regardless, we can usually deal with it because it stays (mostly) the same lap after lap, and our job is to deal with different conditions on different parts of the track. Unfortunately extensive rain can leech various oils out of the rubber making things much worse.

As we proceeded out of the turn onto the rain-soaked, drag rubber-coated straight, it felt like the car hit pure ice. The few cars ahead of me were sideways, and, although I wasn't going particularly fast, the car broke into a quick spin between 2 concrete walls. As the majority of the weight of the car pendulumed around behind me (the nature of the 911, especially the old ones), I made a token attempt to catch the car. As I did this I noted that I was facing a concrete wall. I decided that if the tires managed to gain traction, I could well be flung straight into the inside wall. Time for Plan B. My intent at this point was to spin the car down the inside of the straight, hopefully out of the way of the on-coming cars while remaining on the pavement. I managed the former, but not the latter. I let the car continue it's spin at what seemed like the right point. Once the car was spinning on the inside of the track, I locked it down and tried to stay on the pavement. It almost worked. Unfortunately the car slid off the pavement despite my best efforts. At this point the right front was pointed at the wall, which is where it ended-up about a second later. There was moderate contact with the right front followed by a very minor hit with the right rear.

The damage to the right front was comprised of a crushed fender, cracked bumper, a busted oil cooler and a fair bit of suspension damage:

The damage to the right rear was minor sheet metal damage and a busted muffler bracket:

All-in-all, it could have been much worse.

They stopped the race for good after one more lap of most of the field getting sideways or spinning on that straight. Too late for me....